Sexual Attraction

Some women are attracted to men. Some are not. They may be interested in relationships with other women. Some men are attracted to women. Some are not. They may be interested in relationships with other men. Some people are attracted to both women and men. No one knows for sure what makes people gay, lesbian, bisexual, or straight. Sexual orientation develops naturally — beginning even before birth.

Although sexual orientation may seem to shift for some people in the course of a lifetime, it is not something that people can decide for themselves or others.

Except for pregnancy, the benefits and risks of sexual relationships are much the same, regardless of sexual orientation. However, gay, lesbian, and bisexual people are often subjected to harassment and discrimination based on their sexual orientation.

Enjoying Your Body and Sexuality

What is sexy? The media tells us that only certain body images are sexy. Remember — they are trying to sell a product or service. Being sexy depends more on personality — how we think of ourselves, present ourselves, take care of ourselves, and respect ourselves and other people.

Sexual stereotypes are dangerous. Society sends confusing messages about what it means to be male and female.

Women and men who struggle to look like models or celebrities may injure their health. They may develop eating disorders, exercise to excess, or abuse steroids. But differences in body type, height, and weight are normal and healthy.

Enjoying your body and understanding what gives you sexual pleasure can improve sex with a partner. Every woman and man has different feelings about sexual pleasure — many of us learn about what we like and don't like through masturbation. And many women and men will masturbate all their lives — whether or not they are in relationships.

Sexual Relationships

Self-respect is the key to a healthy and rewarding sex life. Being your own person means doing what you know is right for you. It's important to be honest with yourself about what you want and what you don't want.

In happy and healthy relationships, partners try not to hurt each other. Healthy relationships help us feel better about ourselves and about our place in the world. They make us feel safe. But some people put up with abuse to protect their relationships — this is unhealthy and dangerous. Emotional and verbal abuse are unhealthy. Physical and sexual abuse is wrong and illegal, in any relationship.

Avoid regrets — trust your feelings about becoming sexually involved. Our society doesn't always help people understand their real feelings about sex. It's okay to ignore the pressure to be sexually active. Just be true to yourself.

The benefits and risks of sexual relationships are much the same for all women.  However, people who are perceived as gay, lesbian, or bisexual are often subjected to discrimination.

What do I feel about sex?

Thinking about your answers to these questions may help you understand your feelings:

• What are my sexual desires?
• What are my sexual limits — am I clear with myself about what I will do and won't do?
• Do I want to have sex?
• What do I want to get out of it?
• What does my partner want? Why?
• Do we want the same thing?
• Could I get hurt or hurt my partner?
• Will we be honest, equal, respectful, and responsible?
• Have I considered the possible physical or emotional outcome?

It is wrong for a partner to pressure you, ask you to take risks, or ignore your feelings. It is not a good sign if your partner keeps secrets from you.